What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Yes sir it is.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Why don't I get sleep at nights?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

HELLO

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Why do all the stupid people think Donald J. Trump is stupid?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Sure no problem officer.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Should women be allowed in “combat roles” within the military?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

{RING} {RING}

Why do I have an itch in my labia, white gooey and thick discharge which doesn't have a smell but my vagina does sometimes and both me and my partner do not have STDs, what is it?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

After a few moments he returns.